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Prince Charming
Every girl
wants prince charming
and while he may be nice and all…
I want a guy who will come up from behind
and put his
arms around me
and whisper in my ear
that he loves me
and he lays awake at night
just thinking about me
a guy
who will call at like
3 am just to tell me
how much he misses me
he'd come over just after we
get off the phone
because
he wants to know how
I’m really doing
because I said I was fine
but we both know I was lying
he'd kiss my
forehead
and tell me everything’s
gonna be alright
he may not be prince charming
to anyone else,
but
in my eyes...he'd fit the part!
26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do
1. Know how to make you
smile when you are down.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but
still respects your independence....
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
5. Come up behind you
and put his arms around you.
6. Play with your hair.
7. His hands always find yours.
8. Be cute when
he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
11. Never run out of love.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
13. Realize he's being funny
when he needs to be serious.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you
hit him and it actually hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't
normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each
others company, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense
of humor.
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason.
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs
- just because he loves u that much to quit it.
Why Kids
Flunk English and Foreigners Can't Learn It
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of
ox
became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose
should never be meese.
You
may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house
is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always
called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan
be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give
you a boot, would a
pair be called beet's. If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why
shouldn't the plural of
booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural
would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we
never
say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine,
she, shis and shim.
Some
other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The
farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish
furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7)
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass
was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the
object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13)
They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress
and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was
too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear
in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to
my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
Screwy pronunciations can mess up
your mind! For example...If you have a
rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!
Let's
face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins
weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted. But if we explore
its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write
but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?
If teachers
taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think
all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language
do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet
that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites?
You
have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in
a form by filling it
out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?
Enough
Already!!!!
Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like
that person?
Did you
know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real
weak and most susceptible?
Did you know that those
who spend their time protecting others are the
ones that really need some one to protect them?
Did you know that
the three most difficult things to say are :
I love you, Sorry and help me
The people who say these are
actually in need of them or really feel
them,
and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said
them.
Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others
company or helping others are the ones that actually
need your company
and help?
Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in
themselves?
Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their
beauty?
Did you know that those
who dress in black, are those who want to be
unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
Did you know that
when you help someone, the help is returned in two
folds?
Did you know that those who need more of you are those
that don't
mention it to you?
Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than
saying it
to
someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when
you say it to their face?
Did you know that
what is most difficult for you to say or do is much
more
valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with
money?
Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are
granted?
Did you know
that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in
love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith,
and if
you
really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.
Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do
banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick
to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death
by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people
evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that
no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do
people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have
materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen
times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes
for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid ass?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you
always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do
we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
If
at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
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